I don't know, is it just me...is it the weather....or is it my children? When I was a kid, ok, let's be honest, still to this day...when I am frustrated by something, or I don't immediately excell at something, I quit. It was a frustrating fact to my brother who wasn't ready to stop playing that board game, or baseball game, or anything and everything we ever started playing together. I can hear him now "you always quit". I think it is 'little sister syndrome'. Well, when I decided to become a parent (and God provided) I didn't think through the reletless, frustrating, tiring days that would follow. Not just one day, but now 1,537 days (yes, I am counting). It NEVER stops, ever! Yes, I have mom's day out on Fridays (which now days is me driving from one side of town to the other from 9 until 2 as I shuffle them around due to school and therapy), and yes one of the kids are in preschool from 9-11:30 each day.
All you FULL TIME moms are thinking I should stop complaining, I know. But honestly, even when we hire a sitter and Aaron and I go out for an evening, when I walk back in the door and hear the "mom, I'm so thirsty" or "mom, will you play with me" or "mom, I'm so hungry" (which are the 3 phrases I hear atleast 50 times each during the day - no exaggeration) I feel like I never left. I know it is me - I need to focus more on the Lord and less on my own petty frustrations. But I want to quit. I wish I could speed the clock 20 years. But I know that unless I put in the time now - I will be even MORE frustrated by how they look in 20 years. : )
I suppose this will be the first thing that I have to see all the way to the end. I know the Lord is molding me, and teaching me, and I am growing everyday through the process. But I would like to know it all turns out ok. Just a glimpse into the future to know that I am not screwing them up too much.
Sidenote: It sounds awful as I read it now, to complain about my daughter wanting to play with me...but she never stops saying that phrase. I am ACTIVELY playing with her, and if I stop moving the horse for a second, she says that phrase. She can't play by herself, and if I force her to try (for just 10 minutes, or while I try to start laundy or dinner) she whines that phrase the entire time, until I send her to her room.
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I hear you - especially on the "I'm hungry!". Audrey must say it 100 times a day. The most frustrating is when she says it 5 minutes after a meal. A meal that took her 45 minutes to eat. With lots of prompting and cajoling. Yeah. When my kids were getting to the point that they didn't need naps (but I needed them to have naps), I would set the timer and say they had to play alone in their rooms for 30 minutes. (In Addie's case, you might start with 15 minutes). I think we worked our way up to an hour. In our case, they were happy they didn't have to sleep, so they didn't mind playing alone. Maybe you could try something similar with Addie. If she'll play alone for 15 minutes, then you'll play with her for the same amount of time. Oh, and if my kids came out of their rooms early, I'd put more time on the timer. Hang in there - and I know I've done more than my fair share of "complaining". (I prefer to call it "venting"). It's probably a very good thing I hadn't taken up blogging back then...
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